STAR WARS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! WARNING!!! WARNING!!! STAR WARS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE ALREADY SEEN THE FILM!!!!




I went to see “Attack of the clones tonight” with a couple of friends and I still don’t know quite what to make of it. On one hand it delivered everything a Star Wars fan could want but on the other it was just too bleak. AOTC is by far the darkest and most violent of all SW films thus far. I mean peoples heads were getting cut off left and right, Christ! I almost felt sick when Anakin slaughtered all those sand people and I screamed like a bitch when he got his arm cut off by Count Dooku/Darth Tyrannous. At times I actually found myself wanting some comic relief from the constant barrage of “bad things” happening to the main characters. Also I couldn’t help but feel like yelling “run, get the hell away form him” at Padme whenever she and Anakin were on screen. Anakin is one of the most loathsome characters in the film and I only felt compassion towards him when his mom, Shmi, is tortured to death by the sand people. I’m pretty sure I loved the movie, heck I even enjoyed the love scenes and got teary eyed when Anakin laments his murderous act, but frankly I think Lucas should’ve chilled a bit with the bad mojo flavah… so, so, very violent, it was. On a brighter note Yoda is the man! He truly kicked ass, I was hooting and hollering during his lightsaber dual with Dooku/Tyrannous. That lil green guy totally stole the film.
In case it wasn’t completely obvious by now I’m a huge Star Wars geek, and so I feel sorta depressed after having watched this newest installment to the series. It was just so bleak and morbid, I can’t imagine what Lucas will do with the third since it’s supposed to be the darkest of the trilogy (if that’s at all possible after this one). In the end I’d give this one a 5 out of 5 for being simply brilliant, I just wish it hadn’t been so damned creepy

Signed,
Dangerous and disturbing, this post has been.

Congratulate me; I am now an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. That’s right I just got my certificate and have been legally registered as a minister at the Universal Life monastery in Modesto, CA. This is not a joke. I can legally perform marriages and preside over funerals as well as posses all other rights and privileges of the ministry. Now run along my children, I must be left to commune with the powers that be.

Signed
Luis Aldana, Clergyman of the U.C.L

My final reviews for LCD went horribly! The asshole (his name is Andrew Lenaghen, for those who are keeping score) refused to critique my work; I had to forcibly make him say something, anything about my work. He tried wrapping things up no more than a minute into my crit. after having made me sit through an entire day of group crits. I didn’t let him ignore me though, I plainly told him that he hadn’t said anything about my work all year long thereby making it impossible for me to know whether or not I was doing well. Do you know what the bastard said then? “Let’s try and finish this on a happy note” as if I was being unnecessarily argumentative. Needless to say I and two other students filed a complaint against him at the foundation art office, on the grounds that he uses unfair and prejudicial teaching methods. His boss, Bill Fasalino, will schedule a meeting between those of us who filed the complaint and the asshole himself by the end of the week. I haven’t been treated with such extreme disrespect by a teacher since 6th grade. This is absolutely unacceptable! I plan on having my portfolio reviewed by Bill Fasalino himself so that I can be certain I won’t get a biased grade. Wish me luck boys and girl ‘cause this ain’t over by damn sight!

Signed,
Hell hath no fury like a Luis scorned!